An annual tradition we could do without has its latest update!

Hey, everyone, it's the 18th of April, and so it's once again time to review the Year in Mia, as it's the 23rd (!!!!) anniversary of the car accident that permanently damaged her brain and changed all of our lives. You know I get bummed when I consider that day, but I do like (well, "like," because I wish there was nothing special about this day at all) to give an update on our girl. And so we're off!

As you might recall, over the past few years, Mia's life has slowed down a bit as she's had all the crap that's messed up with her taken care of, so there hasn't been a need for major surgeries or stuff like that and we've had her medication figured out for some time. There's just not a lot to report, although she's doing very well in general. This past year, of course, there was a change: she stopped going to school. People say she "graduated," but it's not like she completed the course work for a degree -- they just threw her out because she was too old. The law states that you can't go to school past your age-22 year, and Mia turned 23 in August, so she just aged out. I certainly get it, but it's still a bummer, because she really liked school and there's not much for her to do these days. But anyway, she went to the ceremony and had a grand time, and her long career in school and in high school (she went for 8 years!) was over. I screwed up with regard to the ceremony, though. Here in the AZ, we always ended school the Thursday before Memorial Day. When I was talking to my mom and my sister about them coming out for the ceremony, I said it was probably (crucial word there) the Thursday before Memorial Day. They made plans, and I forgot to check, but it turned out it was the Thursday after Memorial Day, as the school district had changed their schedule a year or two before and extended the year slightly. It turned out my dad had some health problems, so my parents couldn't make it anyway, but my sister and her husband came out for the Memorial Day weekend and ended up missing the ceremony. But we had a good time with them here! Mia seemed to enjoy the ceremony and her last days -- everyone was saying good bye to her, and, as I noted, she got an entire page in the yearbook devoted to her, which was nice. At the ceremony, she got to go up very early, just after the valedictorian and salutatorian, and she was sitting in the front row, and she got to perform the national anthem with the choir one last time, and it was a nice night. So that was that.

After she got out of school, however, our troubles began. Her PT has noted this in the past -- there are a good amount of things for special needs children these days, but not as much for special needs adults, because back in the day, the kids often did not survive to adulthood. Steps have been taken to remedy this, but it's still not great. Someone like Mia, for instance, wouldn't have needed services 50 years ago, because she would have been dead. But she needs them now, and they are a bit lacking. We only visited two places that ran day programs before we realized we needed to wait until she was fully covered by the state (more on that below!). The first one said they were too worried that they would not be able to take care of her correctly, and while we're glad they were upfront about it, we also thought that was a bit poppycock. We told them that Mia needs to be changed and fed, but I would be very happy to show them how to do it because it's not difficult, and that she would not complain if they left her alone, so they needed to make sure to include her. They didn't think they could handle that. People tend to be scared of Mia because you do have to lift her out of her chair and she does need to be fed through a tube and she does not get in your face if she's bored or you haven't been paying attention to her -- I get all that, but it's still ridiculous. The place was not huge, and if they took Mia with them into a room, when they left there with all the other people I doubt if they would forget her, as there weren't a lot of places for her to hide. The lifting and feeding part is a bit more ... believable, I guess, but you get used to it. Oh well. The other place wouldn't take her because, since she wasn't covered by the state yet, they were scared of workman's comp claims if one of their workers hurt themselves lifting her. If she's under the state, I guess they will pay workman's comp, but if she's not, the business itself has to pay. I get that, too -- it's annoying, but I get it. After those two experiences, we decided that we would wait until she was covered by the state to figure out what to do with her during the day. So, for almost a year, she's been at home, basically watching television all day. She's very bored, sadly, but it's hard to do anything with her. We take her out occasionally, but even then, she doesn't actually want to be anywhere, just out of her bed. She asks to go to the doctor every once in a while not because she wants to or needs to go, but because she knows that going to the doctor means leaving the house. She's so happy getting in the van and going out ... but of course, the instant we get anywhere, she starts saying "home." She just likes the experience of going!

But, you might ask, what's the deal with getting her covered by the state? Well, that goes slowly, of course. She never needed to be because we had the money from her insurance settlement, which we used to pay for things that insurance would not cover and also to pay me as her caregiver. Once she got out of school, we knew we had to shift her money into a different kind of trust, one that wouldn't count against her when the state looked into it (prior to this, she was -- hilariously -- too rich to be covered by the state insurance plan). We began the process, which has taken a while. Part of it -- most of it, actually -- is my fault, as this stuff makes my head hurt and I screwed a few things up. But it's moving along, and we hope it's all good very soon. Once that happens, we can have more options for day programs, access to respite care (so we can actually go places together without having my parents come to take care of Mia), and possibly some therapies that she could use. Again, special needs adults get some short shrift when it comes to therapy, but perhaps we can find some things. The most important thing is finding her a day program, because she does really enjoy hanging out with other people and doing stuff. I've also not been able to work as much as I would ... like? Krys is working a lot, and it's far too difficult for her to take care of Mia and work while I'm working, so I've been judicious about taking substitute jobs. I don't really want to work more, but it would be good to bring in more money ... and if Mia is in a day program, I can take more jobs. That would be nice. I will have a lot more to say about the process when it's actually completed, so that should be fun.

Other than that, not much is going on. She seems happy (if bored), and she seems to be ok physically. She's still getting Botox injections, and we're giving her medication for what the podiatrist assures me is an infection under her toenails, but those kinds of infections are, apparently, notoriously hard to get rid of, so it's taking some time. She got to see her grandparents at Christmas, so that was fun, and she got to see her aunt and uncle in May and at Christmas, so that was fun (Mia is wildly blasé about seeing anyone, even her parents, but she does claim she likes to see them). We wish she were able to access more things for people like her, but we have learned a lot of patience over the past 23 years, so we can wait while the state figures out what they're doing. I'm confident she will be covered by the state, it's just when they will sort through all the paperwork and figure it out.

So that's Mia's current situation. Not a lot of change, which is perfectly fine with us, as usually "change" with her means bad things. She's still awesome, of course, because when is she not, and she still lights up our day. We're always grateful she's in our lives, and we hope this coming year brings some new things to her that are positive. We shall see. Thanks for reading, everyone -- I appreciate it. I skipped the links last year, for some reason, but here are the links to every anniversary post: the story of Mia's accident, 2005, 2006, 2007, 2008, 2009, 2010, 2011, 2012, 2013, 2014, 2015, 2016, 2017, 2018, 2019, 2020, 2021, 2022, 2023, 2024, and 2025. Phew!